HOW TO BUILD GODLY FRIENDSHIP WITH A GIRL EVEN WHEN YOU HAVE FEELINGS FOR HER

             Welcome to purposeful living today. 

You are destined to reign in life in Christ Jesus.

 We are always glad to have you here. God bless you.







Do you know that your emotions can ruin a purposeful relationship with a girl that's made to lift you to your place of destiny?


 Not every feeling, no matter how strong you felt for her is a pointer to a martial relationship. Some girls are  in our life to help us with their ministry as “destiny helpers” for a reason or season on our lives, but we can be blinded from their true identity when we focus so much on her exterior ( her body), rather than the interior (her capacity).

Not every girl is in your life so you can have sex with her whenever you want, there are girls that came to give your life sense.

See Also: 10 Reasons why you should avoid premarital sex.

You can love a girl and build a purposeful and Godly friendship that you can use to inspire your children 

How do we build a godly friendship with a girl that is filled with treasures in her? This is the purpose of this post.


I overheard a conversation some time ago that made me wept.  It's dismaying to see a person who always asseverates as Christ-like actually is living a life that's not consistent with the nature of Christ.

A young man was so excited and pleased to share his story with friends on how he was destroying the lives of young ladies through the act of sexual immorality while he was in secondary school (college) which he continued on campus in the University. He saw himself as a superhero and a very smart guy who used and abused young ladies deceiving them "In the name of  Love".



It will amaze you to know that this guy is a Christian and serves in a department in church.

Dear, "Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity." (1Timothy 4:12).

There are also such stories in campus fellowship where sexual immorality is celebrated between brothers and sisters in Christ, funny enough you see it among fellowship leaders and members.

See Also: When should I start dating?


It is disheartnening that the church which ought to be a place of refuge is now a place where hearts are broken and destines trampled on through the agents of the devil in the Church. To know more about the characteristic of  the God kind of love, please study and meditate on 1 Corthinthians 13, this has helped me greatly.


God never made it so: "But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints". (Ephesians 5:3).

See also: The beauty of being you, see how to love you.

If we call ourselves believers, then where is the fear of God that restrains us from living in sexual sin like Joseph?


"But he refused. “With me in charge,” he told her, “my master does not concern himself with anything in the house; everything he owns he has entrusted to my care.  No one is greater in this house than I am. My master has withheld nothing from me except you, because you are his wife. How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?” And though she spoke to Joseph day after day, he refused to go to bed with her or even be with her. One day he went into the house to attend to his duties, and none of the household servants was inside.  She caught him by his cloak and said, “Come to bed with me!” But he left his cloak in her hand and ran out of the house. (Genesis 39:8-12)

See also: Truths about boyfriend/ girlfriend relationship you need to know


I am not saying that we will not be tempted or that there will not be a  case where one falls, if we are tempted there is grace to overcome and if we fall as children of God we should rise from where we fell (in sin)  and go to our Abba father to ask and receive his mercy and forgiveness not living in sin and finding nothing wrong with such ungodly lifestyle.

No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” (1 Corinthians 10:13 NIV).


I love the way Young's Literal Translation interprets Proverb 24:16:
“For seven times doth the righteous fall and rise, And the wicked stumble in evil.”

See also: The Design for sex; the Best Time for sex

The Holy Spirit who impacts on us the fruit of self-control has not gone on sabbatical, He is always ready help us walk and live in righteousness if only we surrender to Him.

A brother in Christ can sleep with a sister in Christ and does not see anything wrong and will even justify his act....hmmmm,  they will even misquote scriptures to justify their ungodly actions.

Oh! Many youths in this generation have sold their hearts to the devil and used as instruments to win souls to hell, even in the church.

We abuse our relationship with our sisters in Christ who we have been given the mandate and responsibility to love, protect, cherish, guide and feed them with God's word.



 Ephesians 5: 25 says men to love their wives, so brothers are to love sisters as Christ loved the Church, not the other way.

We feed them with sugar-coated romantic words so they can fall in our lust for them, we don't feed them with the word so they can be in love with Jesus Christ.

 When you meet a girl for the first time you may be attracted to her beauty, physique, personality. What guarantees your purposeful relationship with them is how you see them in the light of God's word.

Here are some tips to help you have the right perspective in building a purposeful relationship with every girl you come in contact with:

1. Don't focus on lust:




If you look lustfully at girl  like Amnon (2 Samuel 13),  it means you see them as a means to gratify your sexual desires. It is so true that we all have sexual desires in us, this is a gift given to us by God to be launched in marriag as specified in His manufacturing manual(the Bible) for us.


"I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman. (Job 31:1 NIV).


When in lust one is focused on how to get his selfish desires met, not concerned with the hurt the other person will feel. 


A guy can pretend to truly love a girl for years but he knows deep down in his heart that the reason he claims to love her is because he wants her body, when he gets what he wants the girl becomes a closed case. 

While some guys are intimate with a girl who thinks she has a future with him, but the guy knows that he can't even marry her in his dreams.

 You play with the vulnerability of her heart when she sees you as an elder brother she can trust to give her good counsel and a shoulder to lean on.

Focus on who she is on the inside, help her explore the goldmine in her, not exploring her body. 

You will gain now and in the future from her when you focus on building her personality.


2. Focus on love:





We, the church are often referred to as the bride of Christ, which means Jesus is the groomsman.

How did Jesus display his love to His bride?

 Is it by taking advantage of her vulnerability and committing immorality with her or making her heartbroken and feeling inferior?

No! Jesus never did that, he showed his love by caring for the bride before he sacrificed his life, displaying His boundless and unconditional love for His bride. 

He went about teaching them the principles of the kingdom, he healed the sick, raised the dead, cast out demons out of them, fed the hungry, showed compassion on sinners, wept with those weeping, catered for the needy...

 He never displayed any act of immorality to His bride which is against our kingdom culture.


But, what brothers do today in the church is the very opposite. We break their hearts. When with our friends we begin to count how sisters in church we have succeeded in playing games with their destinies and at the end we mock them, call them fools and then strategize for the next foolish sister...God have mercy.

If you love her  you will not hurt her. If you love her you will honour God by honouring her body.

If you love her you will think of the future impact your actions will make in her health, body,  mind, marriage, eternity, and family

The characteristics of the God kind of love is found in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, let's study and mediate on it.




3. See them as God's Own: Do you know that they have a father in heaven who is their King and they are His Princess,  that you are both responsible and accountable to in your friendship?

 “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” ( 1 Corinthians 6:19-20).


Do you think He is happy with the current way you are treating His precious daughters?

4. See them as your sisters:





 No matter how you feel about a girl see her, see her as your elder or younger sister, whatever you will not do to your biological sisters in the name of love, don't do it to any girl.

Whatever way you don't want a guy to treat your daughters don't treat another man's daughter that way, remember they are first daughters of God.

This truth has helped me  in my relationship with girls from my teens; ”Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers,
older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.” (1Timothy 5:1-2 NIV).




Please ponder on these questions:

1. How do I see the girls around me?

2. What impact have I made in their lives?

3. Have I drawn them closer to God or far from God?

4. Have I turned a purposeful friendship to a romantic relationship because of  my untamed erotic desires?

5. Are they better or worst than I met them?

6. The way I girls, will I be happy if a boy treats my sister that way?

Brothers, God has given you the priesthood mantle to sisters around you, and so you are to Shepherd them and present them to your Chief Shepherd Jesus Christ in all purity, holiness and righteousness.

Let us not conform to the system of this world, where immorality prevails in friendship, we are called to a higher life in Christ Jesus.

Please share your comments in the comment box on how you have built purposeful relationship with girls. 

I celebrate you.

If you are living an ungodly lifestyle, God is calling you to repentance. Answer His call today before it is too late.

See also: The Purpose of singlehood; maximizing and enjoying life as a single





THE FATHER'S CALL !!!




There is a void in every man that wealth, spouse, lover, fame, social status, sex, drink and fun can't fill.  It's a God sized void and can only be filled by Him. This void is the absence of JESUS CHRIST IN YOUR LIFE AND ALL HE OFFERS such as peace, love, righteousness, and joy in the Holy Ghost.  You have taken the wheel of your life all by yourself and like Peter you have caught nothing that gives glory to God with your life, this is the time to allow Jesus Christ into your boat (life), so he can help you to catch the fullness of life in Him that gives you a meaningful life on earth and defines your eternal destination.

If you want to surrender to Jesus Christ, why not say this prayer:

Lord Jesus Christ  I acknowledge that I am a sinner,  I believe in your death and resurrection.  I ask you to forgive my sins,  I reject the devil and all his works. I welcome the Holy Spirit into my life.  I declare today that I am born again and I am a child of God in Jesus name. Amen .

If you just said that prayer I welcome you to God's family. Look for a Bible-believing church where God's word is taught to fellowship there.

If you made this decision please send an email to fulfillpupose@gmail.com

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Thanks for Reading.

Keep living a purposeful life in Christ Jesus.

YOU ARE GREATLY LOVED.

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