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As a Christian  can I date unbelievers? After all, as a Christian, can't I seek to bring someone I admire to Christ through dating? Some of your friends married through missionary dating, so why not you? Is missionary dating God's idea?

Today, we look at missionary dating if it's God's idea, I will like to read your view on this topic in the comment box. Thank you.

This article is about missionary dating: it reveals to you if it's right for you as a Christian to date an unbeliever because you love them.

That he no longer should live the rest of his time in the flesh to the lusts of men, but to the will of God - 1 Peter 4:2.

Let's start by understanding the term “missionary dating ”. 

What is Missionary Dating?

According to Wikipedia "Missionary dating is the act of a person of one religious faith, commonly Christianity, dating a person with differing beliefs for the purpose of changing that person's beliefs or religion."

Missionary Dating is when a Christian dates a non-christian for the purpose of getting them saved.

Dating is not bad if your focus is to honor and glorify God, it is not the way to bring someone to Christ–no matter how beautiful or handsome that person is.

Is missionary dating God's idea?

It is amazing to see how most young people who have never gone out to boldly declare the gospel to their friends are now dating missionaries in the name of love. They believe they can get a girl/ guy they love saved by dating them lol.

When you tell them to come with you for evangelism they give excuses.

They have met a really cute babe  and a charming guy now have receive the call into the ministry of missionary dating.

Missionary dating is not God's idea, because your intentions are wrong for sharing the gospel to them.

Dating to convert someone is built on false intentions, which is extremely harmful to your relationship.

 Trying to change someone to believe what you believe never works because you simply can’t change a person’s heart. A person’s heart will only change through the ministry of the HolySpirit - convicting them of sin.

You meet a guy who wants to be in a relationship with you but he does not love God, has nothing to do with God in His life, doesn't attend church or attends church but does not have a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus.

As a Christian sister, you think that the only way you can be in a relationship with him is to get him saved because the bible says: "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?" ( 2 Corinthians 6:14).

Dating to convert someone is built on false intentions, which is extremely harmful to your relationship.

Dating an unbeliever will hinder you in your personal relationship with God and could inhibit you from growing in faith. Marshall Segal in  The golden rule in Christian dating said that;
“The first step in dating should always be the step of faith we take toward our Lord, Savior, and greatest Treasure, King Jesus. He captures our hearts; we find our deepest joy in him. We hide our soul in him and stop trying to save or prove ourselves. We devote our minds to knowing him more and more and plead with him to conform our mind and will to his. We put all our strength into his goal and plan for our life: to make disciples who love him with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength.”

To encourage someone in their walk with God is a blessing, but that should be done in an equally yoked relationship – where both of you are pursuing God actively and building each other in Christ.

When you date an unbeliever you will become in love with the things of this world - carnally minded. You then will; act, think, dress, talk and live like the world.

For example, you had nothing to do with watching pornography since you gave your life to Christ. Your unbelieving guy/babe has introduced to you such an ungodly lifestyle and quote scriptures to convince you that it is right- don't forget that the devil knows the bible very well.

 They tell you that sex with someone you love is not sin as far as both of you will marry, you can check Hebrews 13:4, 1 Corinthians 6:15-20. Unbelievers do not subject their lives to the authority of God's word because their mind is unfruitful and they are alienated from the life of God and are ignorant of the knowledge of God — Ephesians 4:18.

You must as a Christian through the help of the Holy Spirit; guard your heart, divide the word rightly and discern the word you hear.


Can I Evangelize to the opposite sex?

Yes, you can, this is our supreme task:
 "And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature" ( Mark 16:15).

What is the motive behind your evangelizing to them?

 Are you self-centered or Christ-centered?

 Is the purpose of your evangelism to bring them into a relationship with God without your personal interest coming to play?

If you want to bring them into an intimate relationship with you in the name of the lord you are not doing God's work.

  Jesus Christ our savior who was a youth and single didn't share the gospel with Mary ( Luke 10:38-42) because of His personal interest, no Sir!

He did it for the purpose of deepening their relationship with God and His kingdom.

This is the same way God expects us to act when ministering to the opposite sex, our feelings nor withstanding.

You need to apply wisdom when sharing your faith one-on-one with the opposite sex. There are men who will pretend to be interested in the gospel when really all they want is to talk to a girl. Feigned interest in spiritual things can mask a more dominant interest in physical things. When a guy shares his faith with a girl, he should take steps to avoid compromising situations or misunderstandings.

Don't study the bible and cram scriptures just to woo a lady because you know she is a born again and the only way to get her is to pretend to be one.

It's much easier to pull someone down from up high than it is for us to pull someone up from lower down. It is for our protection that God commands us to not be unequally yoked.

 Hmmm...The smart ones will discover your true identity, you can't hide it that long. A mango tree will not produce an apple fruit, the fruit you bear will spot you out.

The fact someone did missionary dating and saw the person saved by the power of the Holy Spirit and it worked for them does not make it a God-ordained Standard. God's word is our Standard not the actions of man ( 2 Corinthians 6:14).

God wants you to be in a relationship with a believer like you because you will build and strengthen the faith of each other in Him.

"Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.
For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up" (Eccl 4:9-10).

Don't Do God's Work for Him!
God is the only one that can SAVE not you, Jesus is the SAVIOUR, not you. The Holy Spirit is the CONVINCER of sin, righteousness, and judgment, not you.

Your job is to preach and pray for them and allow the Holy Spirit to do the rest.

Missionary dating is a fruit of desperation and desperation births frustration that leads to destruction.

Don't do His work of conviction; you can't. You will end in regret. Many who thought they converted the guy while dating, later discovered in a marriage that the guy was pretending during the period of dating and courtship, he is showing real face now in marriage and the woman now lives in pain and regret.

Choosing right, is the first and most important choice for a successful marriage.

Be patient and wait on the Lord don't be in a hurry to be in a relationship. If you love someone in the process of sharing God's word with them and encouraging them in the faith.

Be patient to watch how they grow spiritually and see the fruits they bear, then seek God for the next step to take.

God does not give painful relationships but joyful ones; this is possible only when you subscribe to His will and not your will.


Thanks for visiting and reading, please do share with a friend on your social media platforms so you can bless others. Let's together share the good news of building purposeful relationships for the Glory of God and for our blessings.

Always remember that Fulfill Purpose Blog loves and Celebrates you. Please do share with us your thoughts on this topic in the comment box below, we will love to see your thoughts on this topic.

God loves you! He is your lover and only in you surrendering your life to him, you will the power over to walk in love. Why not surrender to Him today?

You can begin a relationship now with the Lord Jesus Christ by saying this prayer:

Lord Jesus Christ  I acknowledge that I am a sinner,  I believe in your death and resurrection.  I ask you to forgive me my sins,  I reject the devil and all his works and l welcome the Holy Spirit into my life.  I declare today I am born again and I am a child of God in Jesus name. Amen.

If you just said that prayer I welcome you to God's family. Look for a Bible-believing church where God's word is taught and fellowship there.

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