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TRUTHS ABOUT BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND RELATIONSHIP

avWelcome to Purposeful living today. We welcome you to the second half of this year. May the lord perfect all that concerns you in this month.

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WHAT IS BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND ABOUT?

Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life."Proverb 4:23.

One question that was in my heart that I kept seeking answers in my early teen was the question of boyfriend and girlfriend relationship, I wanted to know if a Christian should have such kind of relationship.

Read also: How to identify friends with benefit

This is a question any young person who wants to live for God keeps asking to walk with wisdom. We are living in challenging times where this generation of young people are confused to know what is good and evil,  many are at the crossroad because evil is now beautifully adorned by mass media in the appearance of good. The mass media has done more harm than good to our morality.


When you go to secondary school ( high school), you will meet with teenagers who are below from the age of 10- 16 years fighting for a boyfriend or a girlfriend. When you don't have yours, you are called a Jew. They engage in physical intimacy with a member of the opposite sex in the name of a boyfriend/ girlfriend relationship. This has therefore hindered them the privilege of enjoying a platonic relationship with the opposite sex.

Is it bad to have a boyfriend/ girlfriend?

Is there a difference between such a relationship and opposite-sex friendship?

First, let's look at the following to gain an understanding of boyfriend/girlfriend:

What is the origin of a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship?

It began in 1909 as a girl describing a boy as her friend so she used the term "boyfriend",  two male friends were also referred to as boyfriends.  Two female friends were referred to as girlfriend — this is for a platonic friendship.

The problem began in 1922 when a boy started addressing a girl he is in love with as a girlfriend one that is his sexual partner.

Read also: Why Marriages fail

The present definition of boyfriend/girlfriend in some dictionaries:

Merriam Webster dictionary defined a boyfriend as a male friend, a frequent or regular male companion in a romantic or sexual relationship, same for a girlfriend.

The English dictionary defined a boyfriend as a male friend, a male partner in a romantic relationship,  same for a girlfriend

Wordnet defines boyfriend, fellow, beau, swain (a man who is the lover of a man or woman) and girlfriend as a girl, lady friend (a girl or young woman with whom a man is romantically involved).

A girlfriend is a female friend or acquaintance, often a regular female companion with whom one is platonic, romantically or sexually involved. The analogous male term is "boyfriend". - Wikipedia.


There is a significant difference between girlfriend and boyfriend, and girl friend and boy friend. In a strictly grammatical sense, a girlfriend or boyfriendis an 'individual of significance' with whom one shares a relationship. — Wikipedia.
Read also: Bible verses for a relationship with the opposite sex

The present-day reality on boyfriend/girlfriend Relationship:

You will agree with me that it's very difficult to see a  platonic boyfriend/girlfriend relationship between members of the opposite sex, this is because it has been overshadowed by the romantic and sexual view. This is why when you introduce someone as your boyfriend/ girlfriend people think something is going on between you guys that are more than a platonic friendship. That person you call your boyfriend/ girlfriend has a special emotional connection with you that your other friends of the opposite sex don't have.

You are on duty to always call, text, and chat with them; yes and this is for hours oh.

You are committed to spending time with them, if you don't they think something wrong is going on.

You tell them everything about you, both of you can gist for along time.

You begin to act physically with him/her to make them feel secure and know that you love them.

It is a relationship with lots of expectations.

The challenge about this relationship is that there is no commitment of marriage most times. When your significant order is tired of you, they leave you heartbroken.

 When you look at the model or characteristics of love given in 1 Corinthians 13, you will discover that the way love is expressed in this relationship today has failed the love test.
The love is selfish, jealous, kind as far as you are kind, boastful...

It's a relationship that focuses on the desires (lust) of the flesh such as sexual immorality, anger,  hatred, immoral thoughts, selfishness, fighting...Galatians 5:19-21, Colossians 3:5-7.

You find most people in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship — kiss, caress, sleep with each other, jealous and insecure seeing the other with a member of the opposite sex because there are strings attached which is not so in friendship.

This relationship with the opposite sex has been corrupted with possessing someone emotionally or romantically who you are not yet married to.

There is no healthy connection between friendship with the opposite sex and boyfriend/girlfriend;  the former focus on love,  care, and concern of the life and future of your friend, while the other focuses on meeting personal and selfish needs( awakening love before its time, songs of Solomon 8:4), not concerned about the life and destiny of the other.

Read also: The real problem in a relationship

People have been harmed and have lost their lives because of boyfriend/girlfriend which is not so in a healthy friendship with the opposite sex. The activities of friendship are different from boyfriend/girlfriend which is also referred to as friends with benefit because it's now beclouded in immorality.

There is a cheating boyfriend/ girlfriend which is not be mentioned in friendship with the opposite sex because it is platonic and purpose-driven.

Ponder on the following questions:

If you have a boyfriend, how will you react seeing him with another girl?

What is the purpose of your relationship, is it giving God glory?

If you are married, can you introduce another woman to your wife and children as your girlfriend?

If you have a girlfriend, can you introduce her to another girl as your girlfriend?

There is nowhere in the bible it is mentioned not to have a girlfriend/boyfriend, but looking at the fruits that it bears, its act of expressing love is against God's will for a godly opposite-sex relationship.

I know you want to ask if  I am saying that people can't be in a premarital relationship?  This is not what I am saying, it is biblical to be in a premarital relationship ( courtship), Mary was betrothed to Joseph.


I am only saying that a relationship that has to do with inciting sinful pleasures which most boyfriend and girlfriend relationship represents in our world today is ungodly.

I know and believe God wants us to enjoy healthy and godly friendship with the opposite sex, let's feel from every appearance of evil.

There is nothing wrong with the name boyfriend/ girlfriend just like there is nothing wrong with the name Lucifer which means light bringer or bearer but there but what the name is known for or associated with, the same is for boyfriend/girlfriend.


It's either you are in courtship or friendship, that's God's design. The girlfriend/boyfriend relationship is the design of this age.



You can begin a relationship now with the Lord Jesus Christ and experience His love for you by saying this prayer:

Lord Jesus Christ, I acknowledge that I am a sinner. I believe in your death and resurrection. I ask you to forgive me of my sins. I reject the devil and all his works and l welcome the Holy Spirit into my life. I declare today I am born again and I am a child of God in Jesus' name. Amen.

If you just said that prayer I welcome you to God's family. Look for a Bible-believing church where God's word is taught and fellowship there.

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