Welcome to Purposeful living today. We specially welcome you to the second half of this year. May the lord perfect all that concerns you in this month.

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Our mission on this blog is to inspire you through the word of God and by the power of the Holy Spirit to discover and fulfill your purpose on earth with the gifts and abilities of God in you.
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Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life."Proverb 4:23.

One question that was in my heart that I kept seeking for answers in my early teen was the question of boyfriend and girlfriend relationship, I wanted to know if a Christian should have such relationship.

Read also: How to identify friends with benefit

This is a question any young person who wants to live for God keep asking in order to walk with wisdom. We are living in challenging times where this generation of young people are confused to know what is good and evil,  many are at cross road because evil is now beautiful adorned by mass media in the appearance of good. The mass media has done more harm than good to our morality.

When you go to secondary school ( high school), you will meet with teenagers who are below from the age of 10- 16 years fighting for a boyfriend or a girlfriend. When you don't have yours, you are called a Jew. They engage in physical intimacy with a member of the opposite sex in the name of boyfriend/ girlfriend relationship. This has therefore hindered them the privilege of enjoying a platonic relationship relationship with the opposite sex.

Is it bad to have a boyfriend/ girlfriend?

Is there a difference between such relationship and opposite sex friendship?

First, let's look at the following to again understanding of boyfriend/girlfriend:

What is the origin of boyfriend/girlfriend?

It began in 1909 as a girl  describing a boy as her friend so she used the term "boyfriend",  two male friends where also referred to as boyfriends.  Two female friends where referred to as girlfriend — this is for a platonic friendship.

The problem began in 1922 when a boy started addressing a girl he is in a love with as a girlfriend one that is his  sexual partner.

Read also: Why Marriages fail

Present definition of boyfriend/girlfriend in some dictionaries:

Merriam Webster dictionary defined a boyfriend as a male friend, a frequent or regular male companion in a romantic or sexual relationship, same for a girlfriend.

The English dictionary defined a boyfriend as male friend, a male partner in a romantic relationship,  same for a girlfriend

Wordnet defines boyfriend, fellow, beau, swain (a man who is the lover of a man or woman) and girlfriend as a girl, lady friend (a girl or young woman with whom a man is romantically involved).

A girlfriend is a female friend or acquaintance, often a regular female companion with whom one is platonic, romantically or sexually involved. The analogous male term is "boyfriend". - Wikipedia.

There is a significant difference between girlfriend and boyfriend, and girl friend and boy friend. In a strictly grammatical sense, a girlfriend or boyfriendis an 'individual of significance' with whom one shares a relationship. — Wikipedia.
Read also: Bible verses for relationship with opposite sex

Present day reality on boyfriend/girlfriend Relationship:

You will agree with me that it's very difficult to see a  platonic boyfriend/girlfriend relationship between members of the opposite sex, this is because it has been overshadowed by the romantic and sexual view. This is why when you introduce someone as your boyfriend/ girlfriend people think there is something going on between you guys that is more than a platonic friendship. That person you call your boyfriend/ girlfriend has a special emotional connection with you that your other friends of the opposite sex don't have.

You are on duty to always to call, text and chat with them; yes and this is for hours oh.

You are committed to spend time with them, if you don't they think something wrong is going on.

You tell them everything about you, both of you can gist for along time.

You begin to act physical with him/her to make them feel secure and know that you love them.

It is a relationship with lot's of expectations.

The challenge about this relationship is that there is no commitment of marriage most times. When your significant order is tired of you, they live you heart broken.

 When you look at the model or charateristics of love given in 1 Corinthians 13, you will discover that the way love is expressed in this relationship today has failed the love test.
The love is selfish, jealous, kind as far as you are kind, boastful...

It's a relationship that focuses on the desires (lust) of the  flesh such as sexual immorality, anger,  hatred, immoral thoughts, selfishness, fighting...Galatians 5:19-21, Colossians 3:5-7.

You find most people in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship — kiss, caress, sleep with each other, jealous and insecure seeing the other with a member of the opposite sex  because there are strings attached which is not so in friendship.

This relationship with the opposite sex has been corrupted with possessing  someone emotionally or romantically who you are not yet married to.

There is no healthy connection between friendship with the opposite sex and boyfriend/girlfriend;  the former focus on love,  care and concern of the life and future of your friend, while the other focuses on meeting personal and selfish needs( awakening love before its time, songs of Solomon 8:4), not concerned about the life and destiny of the other.

Read also: The real problem in a relationship

People have  been harmed and have lost their lives because of boyfriend/girlfriend which is not so in a healthy friendship with the opposite sex. The activities of friendship is different from boyfriend/girlfriend which is also referred to as friends with benefit, because it's now beclouded in immorality.

There is a cheating boyfriend/ girlfriend which is not be mentioned in friendship with the opposite sex because it is platonic and purpose driven.

Ponder on the following questions:

If you have a boyfriend, how will you react seeing him with another girl?

What is the purpose of your relationship, is it giving God glory?

If you are married, can you introduce another woman to your wife and children as your girlfriend?

If you have a girlfriends, can you introduce her to another girl as your girlfriend?

There is no where in the bible it is mentioned not to have a girlfriend/boyfriend, but looking at the fruits that it bears, its act of expressing love is against God's will for a godly opposite sex relationship.

I know you want to ask if  I am saying that people can't be in a premarital relationship?  This is not what I am saying, it is biblical to be in a premarital relationship ( courtship), Mary was betrothed to Joseph.

I am only saying that a relationship that has to do with inciting sinful pleasures which most  boyfriend and girlfriend relationship represents in our world  today is ungodly.

I know and believe God wants us to enjoy healthy and godly friendship with the opposite sex, let's feel from every appearance of evil.

There is nothing wrong with the name boyfriend/ girlfriend just like there is nothing wrong with the name Lucifer which means light bringer or bearer but there but what the name is known for or associated with, the same is for boyfriend/girlfriend.

It's either you are in courtship or friendship, that's God's design. Girlfriend/boyfriend is the design of this age.

You can begin a relationship now with the lord Jesus Christ and experience His love for you by saying this prayer:

Lord Jesus Christ I acknowledge that I am a sinner. I believe in your death and resurrection. I ask you to forgive me my sins. I reject the devil and all his works and l welcome the Holy Spirit into my life. I declare today I am born again and I am a child of God in Jesus name. Amen.

If you just said that prayer I welcome you to God's family. Look for a Bible believing church where God's word is taught and fellowship there.

If you made this decision please send a mail to

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