Welcome to purposeful living today.

Relationships fail when we fight the right battle with the wrong person with wrong strategies.

For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds (2 Corinthians 10:4).

Most relationships fail because people fail to access the relevant knowledge they need in order to take keep  their relationship/marriage.

Some persons think to keep their relationship they have to possess their lover; which makes their lover to be obsessed with them.

No one wants an intruder in their relationship, no woman wants another lady to keep her man consciously  or unconsciously, same for the man. Ada suspects that her husband is cheating on her with another lady, so she ask him oblivious questions such as, who's that lady you were speaking to on phone?  Where are you going to, who do you want to see?

When ever he is at home she doesn't allow him have breathing space; she always want to be around him and if for any reason he is adamant to her insecurity request, she thinks he is seeing someone else.

See also: Depression a silent killer

Ada began to act as secret agents;  checking his text messages and chats, driving behind him whenever he goes out without her to know go he is going to visit and even threatening the innocent ladies. She could do anything to keep her man, even to kill . The irony is that this same woman don't treat her husbands with honour and respect. She nags at him husbands; she didn't create a throne in their heart and home for him where he is crowned king.

Abel don't want another man to steal the heart of  his wife,  tries to stop the other man - he could even fight with him because of her. He becomes suspicious of his wife and always want to know where she is and with whom. This same man finds it difficult to give her attention, to love, and  appreciate his wife. He sees whatever his wife does for him as his right, because she is his servant. He physically abuse his wife, barks at her like a dog.

There is no love in the relationship - the man who is  to nurture, nourish  and cherish his wife now makes her insure around him. He thinks he can possess her heart by becoming her remote controller. She can't be won that way and he won't get the best of her treating her like a slave.

If you want to be treated as a king/queen, be the first to treat your lover that way. Love always win.

You really don't need to have physical combat with any woman or man even when you know they are going out with the one you love. Be a smart person that knows that the fight is not between you and the person going out with your lover; the fight is between you and the devil.

Read also:One very important key to build a happy relationship

 Markblessing did you say the devil? Yes dear, the devil wants to stop you from enjoying God's best in your relationship/marriage, so he has led your lover to an intruder, who wants to fulfill his mission to steal the peace in your relationship, kill your joy and destroy your relationship and marriage.

 You know what the bible says about him? - Submit yourself and your relationship to God, resist the devil and he will flee from you - not assisting the devil by acting in the flesh or how you feel (James 4:7).

 It is not about the physical fight because the weapons of our welfare are not carnal but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds.

 Read also: The value of Mystery

How do we fight the right battle?

We do this by possessing the heart of our lover through walking in love with them (Ephesians 5:2).  I am talking about agape love  (unconditional love). Human/natural love will not be able to survive the pain, heart break of seeing someone you love going out or being lured by a deceiver.

Human love will want to fight back physically; it will want to retaliate  and find it hard to forgive. Human love says through the woman, ”Sweet heart, if you love me I will in turn respect and submit to you in this house.” It says through the man, ”Sweet heart, I will love  you if only you will submit to me as he head of this house”.

Human love has its conditions for it to be expressed.

 Unconditional love on the other hand which is the God-kind of love has no expectations or conditions - love is not expressed because love was given in the first place; love is expressed not minding the behavior of the other person.

See also: Why I am in love with Joy

The bible says we should guard our heart (Proverb 4:23). The heart of your lover needs to be guarded in love; to the path of love where he has blinded from walking.

How to keep the heart of your lover:
1. Prayer is number one thing you need to do - You must intercede for your lover and get directions from God on what to do, because the arm of flesh will fail you.

2. Understand their love language and generously give to them in love. There are five love languages:

  • Word of affirmation
  • Spending quality time
  • Giving gifts
  • Service
  • Physical touch

Read also:Understanding the purpose of marriage

Always give them the one you know that is their dominant love language. If you are not married, administer moderately in honour of the lord to avoid stories that touch especially when their dominant love language is 'physical touch'.

Be willing to serve your spouse or lover even when they don't deserve it.
3. Seek the wisdom of God - the word of God is the wisdom of God, study and meditate on it. this will help you function in the wisdom of God as you relate with your lover

4. Love: love has been described in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.

These are the qualities of  unconditional love you possess in your spirit that you have to allow find expression in your relationship:

  1. You're kind and patient with them when they don't deserve it.
  2. You aren't jealous or boastful about their relationship with the other person; you may feel jealous but don't act it. Acting in jealousy is an expression of anger and frustration towards them - they can't be won this way; you will only drive them out.
  3. You aren't  arrogant or rude. There are times where you have to be calm even when you need to express how you feel. You can express yourself when you aren't angry.
  4. You don't insist on your own way; we have to let go of our ”rights” and ”self” because we have the love of God shared abroad in our hearts by the Holy Spirit to  win the heart of our lover (Romans 5:5).
  5. You don't have to resent them and what they do; you have to look at them with the eyes of love that God looks at you with.
  6. You don't rejoice in the wrong things your lover has done but in the right things.
  7. You have the ability to bear, believe and hope and endure all things because all things are going to work out for your good (Romans 8:28), as you hold on to God and fight the right battle. 

You can't do the above by yourself. You need the help of the Holy Spirit to empower you to do them. If you fall rise up and hold unto God. Don't give up on a relationship/marriage that God has ordained for you except God tells you to.

See also: Why I am in love with Joy

Let's keep fighting the right battles in our relationship. I love and celebrate you.

Please share your thought on this topic in the comment box,I will love to learn from you.


If you don't have a relationship with the Lord you can do that now, He is the only guarantee of the abundant supply of love, joy and peace  in your relationship.

You can begin a relationship now with the lord Jesus Christ and experience His love for you by saying this prayer:

Lord Jesus Christ I acknowledge that I am a sinner, I believe in your death and resurrection. I ask you to forgive me my sins, I reject the devil and all his works and l welcome the Holy Spirit into my life. I declare today I am born again and I am a child of God in Jesus name .Amen.

If you just said that prayer I welcome you to God's family. Look for a Bible believing church where God's word is taught and fellowship there.

If you made this decision please send a mail to

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Thanks for Reading.



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