HOW I WISH I NEVER MARRIED HIM




Welcome to Purposeful living today. You are the blessed of God and have a great future your past not withstanding.






"Brethren I do no consider that I have made it my own way; but one thing I do, forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead." [Philippians 3:13 RSV]
 


Timi is a very beautiful woman that always gets the attention of guys because of her stunning beauty. She was married to Joseph a man she greatly admired and was so in love with. She married Joseph because she believed that Joseph was the perfect man of her dreams. He was everything she needed in a man. Joseph was also in love with Timi, but his loving her was conditional. He loved Timi as far as she will be a good wife that respects, honors  and submits to him, this makes him to provide for her anything she needs just because he wants Timi to make him happy as her happiness means nothing to him. Joseph was an insecure man who was very over protective of his wife. He stopped her from working because he wants her at home as full-time housewife. He was a very dominating husband that dictates what Timi should do and should not do. Timi had no say as regards anything in the home, whatever he says as the man of the house was final and binding. 

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There was no room for comprise in any situation in the home, all he wants  is that things goes his way. Don't get him wrong he was a fine man, kisses his wife as many times possible in a day, his romance was to make his wife laugh but not happy as she was hurting on the inside. The problem of Mr Joseph was that he was  very insure and this insecurity was because of his past that he brought into his future, this was about his father. Joseph dad a father that was not there for him as a child, a dad that left him and his mum while in his childhood. His dad was very possessive and abusive monster, his lifestyle made Joseph mum to die at a young age of 42 because of depression. This made Joseph to grow as a very independent young man in his teens without his parents, he never knew how a healthy family looked like, he never knew what it meant to experience fatherly love. This made him a bitter man who chose not to forgive his dad for the way he was treated as a child. He chose not to have children until he was ready to be a Father because he was afraid that he would be a bad Father to his children. He told his wife Timi that he was not ready to be a father and she craved to be a mother, because of this Joseph began to take drugs that ensures that he never gets Timi pregnant. 


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This was the beginning of tragedy in their marriage, Timi  felt she was betrayed by her husband when she found out  that Joesph was taking drugs to ensure that she does not get pregnant. When she spoke to him about it she was beating black and blue by him because as she was expressing her grievances before him she mentioned his dad whose name he never wants to hear. Timi who was always going to for test to check if she was pregnant finally got pregnant as she was very determined to find any way to make her husband get her pregnant, she was so excited about her new state as an expectant mother. In this state of her being pregnant whenever Timi offends Joseph he beats her black and blue with bruises all over her body.  The man who was to protect her was the man who she now needs protection from. She loved him so much that she kept everything to herself even when her best friend will confront her about the situation she will always defend her husband, but after series of physical abuse that the effect on her body was very evident and could not be denied that her husband was physically abusing her,  she opened up to her best friend. During her 4th month of pregnancy they both planned a way of escape for Timi from her abusive monster husband where she was able to safely deliver her baby in peace without being abused by her husband and she  separated from him as he died in the process fighting to forcefully get Timi as his wife. Timi later found a man who loved and protected her, a man who was always willing to make her happy, a man who could not raise his finger on her body but cherished her body, a man who treated her as a queen, a man who gave himself for her happiness. 

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My dear friend, this story points to one thing and that is dealing with the past. No matter what happens in your past you have to forget, forgive and let go. Someone said to me that if you fail to forgive someone who hurt you in the past, you will find yourself replicating the attitude and actions of the person to people around you instead of you protecting them from being hurt by people. This could be seen from the life of Joseph who became a replica of his dad because he failed to forgive his dad and learn how to be a great dad to his children. Our greatest weapon over our past is not to be ignorant of how to deal with issues but to be knowledgeable on how to ensure that other people don't experience the pain we experienced in our past. If you where raped in your past, your pay back should be to protect the dignity of ladies and those who have been raped or have experience any form of abuse you become a shoulder for them to cry and lean on.
When you are in a committed relationship that is heading towards marriage one of the things you should focus on is how the person has been able to get over their past.


Are they still tied to your past?
Have they forgiven themselves from their past?
Are they still controlled by their past?
Do they make decisions based on their past?
Do they still cherish their past more than their future?
These are very important things you need to know about who you want to marry, if you don't want to experience the kind of tragedy that Timi experienced in her marriage and end up having a failed marriage. It very important for us to deal with our past and know that our past is a past life. The bible says if any man is in Christ he is a new creature (2 Cor 5:17), this means that God has no account of your past anymore. This means that if you have murdered someone in the past you have been forgiven and God does not hold on to it. If you have had 20 abortions in your past it means you have been forgiven and now that you are in Christ you are a new creature because there is no sin too big for the blood of Jesus to cleanse.

Finally, let our eyes be opened  when in love to the character and personality of who we intend to marry; love is not blind, only your feelings can blind you from seeing the truth. We should take out time to know them for who they are not for who they tell us they are. Imagine Mr Joseph in the story who claimed to love his wife Timi, he kisses her, romance her, carouse her and do anything to be emotionally connected to her but still physically abused her and made her regret for ever know him and saying yes to marry him.

Let us not be focused on physical intimacy while in a relationship let our number one goal be intimacy based on compatibility. Someone defined intimacy as into-me-see; which means you know the person beyond how they look on the outside but how they look on the inside and this is the fruit of communication.
God is a loving father that is not concerned about your past but about your present and future when you come to surrender your life and invite the Lord Jesus into your life. The devil like Mr Joseph in the story claims to love you by giving you things that are temporary and will later be the one to condemn, abuse and accuse you. The lord Jesus is that loving Husband who loves you the way you are but will not leave you the way you are, but will add value and meaning to your life. You deserve to be treated as the Royalty you are.

Be Blessed.

THE FATHER'S CALL !!!

There is a void in every man that wealth, fame, social status, sex, drink, fun and the likes can't fill.  It is only God that can fill that void, what is that void that is missing? It is the absence JESUS IN YOUR LIFE AND ALL HE OFFERS such as peace, love, righteousness and joy in the Holy Ghost.  You have taken the wheel of your life all by yourself and like Peter you have caught nothing with your life, this is the time to allow Jesus Christ into your boat (life)  so he can help you to catch the fullness of life in him that gives you a meaningful life on earth and defines your eternal destination.


If you want to surrender to Jesus Christ, why not say this prayer:


Lord Jesus Christ  I acknowledge that I am a sinner,  I believe in your death and resurrection.  I ask you forgive me of my sins,  I reject the devil and all his works and l welcome the Holy Spirit into my life.  I declare today I am born again and I am a child of God in Jesus name .Amen .


If you just said that prayer I welcome you to God's family. Look for a Bible believing church where God's word is taught to fellowship there.


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Keep living a purposeful life in Christ Jesus.


YOU ARE GREATLY LOVED.

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