TEN (10) INDESPENSIBLE SECRET TO MAKING A RELATIONSHIP WORK




Welcome to purposeful living today. We wish you God's Grace this week. We love and celebrate you here at fulfill purpose Blog.


Relationship are successful only when we know how to make it successful. Yes it is our duty not God's duty to make it successful.  God has given us all we need to make our relationship and anything we do a good success. This good success only comes by virtue of we meditating on the word of God as regards relationship. The results or revelations from our meditation are the secrets we use to build a successful relationship.

"This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success" (Joshua 1:8).

1. Accept that you both will have conflict: Please know that conflict is normal in a relationship. I did not say fighting is normal oh, but conflict. By conflict we mean conflict of interest where what you want the other person does not want it.
Perfection only exists in Hollywood movies but disagreements in real life between couples. Unless you're embroiled in severe problems (i.e., unfaithfulness, abuse, addictions, legal problems, or violence), don't throw away a relationship because you've hit a rough patch. Love, trust and commitment deepens as you travel through storms together.


2. Be Emotionally Mature: Your emotions can destroy your relationship most especially when you behave in a dysfunctional manner. What you consider as a "normal" behavior may actually be destructive to yourself or others. If you're confused as to whether your behavior is "emotionally mature," ask yourself: Am I enjoying fulfilling, intimate relationships? Am I feeling vibrant and healthy? Am I living my life with purpose and meaning? If the answer is "no," be brave and face your issues. Talk with God, spend time meditating in the word  of God,you can also see  a skilled therapist, pastor or counselor.

3. Learn to Take (or give) space:
Partners may choose to separate (either physically or emotionally) while they work on their own individual issues. Healing childhood wounds is difficult enough without having to be accountable to a partner. If your partner asks for space, give him the world. Stop all stalking peering at Facebook, driving by his work, or asking friends for information. Stop obsessing about anyone else's life except your own. Obsession can make you lose your value with people. People will come to you because of the value you add to their life not you obsessing them.


4. Learn to be Happy:
Your partner is not a variable to the equation of your happiness, you are the one who will choose to be Happy or not.
Your happiness resides within you not a in your relationship, a job, or a perfect set of circumstances. Most successful people wake up happy no matter the circumstances, including a devastating breakup. Forgo being in a relationship until you can learn to be happy with yourself … right now … today … with or without a partner.

5. Develop a positive attitude: Don't live a life of self pity, believe in who God has made you to be. You (and only you) determine your self-worth, knowing your worth will help you relate well with people. I have seen far too many women curl up into the fetal position and lose their power upon the whims and moods of a man. It doesn't matter whether he stays or goes or compliments or criticizes. Your self-esteem needs to be like nonstick cookware a third-party opinion (regardless of whether it's good or bad) slides right off.

6. Take care of your own needs:
You're an adult, not a child. As a result, you call the shots. Need a nap? Take it. Want ice cream? Have some. Want to go to the movies? Enjoy. In partnership, you can ask the other person to help you meet your needs. But, like you, they have their own needs and problems. They may say "no." This is not a rejection. Instead, it's an invitation to be self-reliant or reach out to your community (i.e., friends or family) for help. If you make one person your end-all-be-all, they will resent it. And so will you.

7. Communicate your boundaries:
So many relationships die from silence than violence. Did you bite your tongue until it bled? Did you turn away from bad behavior? Did you nag instead of enforcing consequences? If you acted "compliant" to keep the peace, you contributed to the inauthenticity of the relationship. Decide to forge a different path: Speak up in love. Say no or yes. Don't allow anyone to treat you like a doormat.


8. Never reward bad behavior:
Psychology may explain bad behavior, but it doesn't excuse it. Have you been doling out positive reinforcement (i.e., gifts, sex, food, housing, favors) in hopes your beloved will change for the better? Is it working? If not, it's time for a new ground rules. If your love doesn't change him, your independence might. Don't pay a bad attitude with evil actions but rather choose to walk in love and act with goodness.

9. Heed to the wisdom of God:
When your relationship is in crisis, it's  pertinent that you seek God for solutions through prayers and the word. Don't seek human advivce without first seeking God's advice. But the symphony of opinions is likely drowning out the only voice that matters. Get quiet. Meditate. Pray. Clear mental space, so you can hear the intuition of the Holy Spirit in your heart. Can this relationship be saved? Is it in your best interest? Are you being pushed to grow? Your heart will never fail you, so learn to listen to Him.

10. Be patient but also realistic:
So, when is it time to give up? Look to your partner's actions not words for a clue. Has he committed to counseling? Is he making a commitment to change? Or simply paying lip service? You have only one life to live. Don't waste it on a promise and a dream, especially absent a real commitment. Relationships can be like old shoes—we stay in them even when they are no longer functional because they are comfortable. But comfort is rarely an indication of a life well-lived.


God loves you dear and you need Him to help you to build a healthy relationship.

You can begin a relationship now with the lord Jesus Christ and experience His love for you by saying this prayer:

Lord Jesus Christ I acknowledge that I am a sinner, I believe in your death and resurrection. I ask you to forgive me my sins, I reject the devil and all his works and l welcome the Holy Spirit into my life. I declare today I am born again and I am a child of God in Jesus name. Amen.

If you just said that prayer I welcome you to God's family. Look for a Bible believing church where God's word is taught and fellowship there.

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IT IS ALL ABOUT JESUS CHRIST.



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