Welcome to Purposeful living today.
You are loved, the assurance of God's love for you will make you feel secure without seeking for the need of a man to make you secure.

God created man to  initiate a relationship, he gave Him a leadership ability to lead the relationship. The number one role of a man in a relationship is to lead the relationship. A man should initiate a relationship not the woman. It was not we that asked Jesus out, it was Jesus Christ that came knocking on the door of our heart and we received Him. Most times some guys could be shy to ask a girl out or may have some reasons for not asking a girl that is very close to him out and who he sees that there is a possibility of being in a relationship with them that leads to marriage. In such case, the girl should in wisdom talk to him and make him talk about beginning a relationship, because the girl has to be clarified on the purpose of the relationship, not wasting her time, resources and emotions with a destiny waster.

Among the different roles assigned to men and women in the Bible, men are assigned the role of leadership. This is true in the church and in the family. This is not a signal of male superiority or of the greater importance of men. It is simply God's design and assignment of equally valuable roles among spiritually equal beings. Men initiate while women are to respond. Briefly, biblical support for this position is found, among other passages, in the creation order in Genesis 2 , in 1 Corinthians 11: 7-9 , and Ephesians 5 . True, these passages refer to marriage, but it is wise and right to set patterns that will serve you well in marriage, especially if one accepts the premise that the purpose of dating is to find a life partner.
What does this actually look like in a budding relationship between two people?

See this: How can I find my True Love?

First, the man should initiate asking the woman out. Whether this means approaching the woman herself or her father or someone filling that role instead of her father, it should be the guy that starts things off. A man should not ask a woman out if he is not ready to build a relationship that leads to marriage.

Also, as have been stated earlier, that one's spiritual well being should and must be a requiring factor in choosing someone to be in a relationship with that leads to marriage. The man ought to be a leader in all things most especially on the basis of his relationship with God which is his spiritual well being. Even before initiating a relationship, he ought to have gotten a go-ahead from God with peace in his heart and discernment in his mind concerning the girl he is interested in. A man should however not make the mistake of going into a relationship with a girl that God has not led him to. His constant confession should be "God, if it is not your will, may it not be my direction!".

Once you are ready to be  in a relationship that leads to marriage and have found a particular lady you are  interested in pursuing and God has led you to, the next step is to "put your feelings in control." You should talk to some of her friends, see if she's been asking about you, have one or two subtly suggestive conversations with her to see if she is interested in you in anyway.... NO! This is not initiation. Initiation is not manipulating the situation so that while you're officially "asking her out" there's no actual risk of rejection or embarrassment.

Initiation means initiation. It means that you as the man take the first step, risk and all.

See Also: God's design for the family

'Wait a minute. Are you saying that all the risk is mine?' Yes I am. Doesn't that mean that she can just tell me no and leave me twisting in the wind?' Yes it does. Welcome to leadership. Welcome to trusting God. Welcome to being a man. Your cards belong on the table. Your intentions and your feelings, to the extent that you can discern them and it is appropriate for you to share them, should be clear. Part of your role even at this early stage is to protect the woman of your interest from unnecessary risk and vulnerability by providing a safe context in which she can respond.

The purpose of dating is to examine your level of compatibility in marriage not to fill a vacant position in your life. The difference between dating and courtship is that courtship is that courtship is a graduation from dating. Courtship begins when there is an engagement ring, which states that I find it a privilege to be willing to spend the rest of my life with you. From there you beginning to plan your future together...

You can begin a relationship now with the lord Jesus Christ and experience His love for you by saying this prayer:
Lord Jesus Christ I acknowledge that I am a sinner, I believe in your death and resurrection. I ask you to forgive me my sins, I reject the devil and all his works and l welcome the Holy Spirit into my life. I declare today I am born again and I am a child of God in Jesus name .Amen.

If you just said that prayer I welcome you to God's family. Look for a Bible believing church where God's word is taught and fellowship there.

If you made this decision please send a mail to

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