Welcome to Purposeful living today. Hope you have been having an amazing week? Today we begin a series with Dr Gary Chapman on "Falling in Love". As you read I like that your heart be opened to receive knowledge that will make you walk in power and authority in your relationship. Please invite your friends to join us in this series as they will be blessed.

"Love is not expressed based on feelings but based on Knowledge, it is what you know about a person that makes you commit to a person not how they make you feel; your feelings like the weather is not stable".


"And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour"(Ephesians 5:2).

Let's sit under the tutelage of Gary Chapman culled form one of his books " The 5 love languages", as he speaks about falling in love.

"She showed up at my office without an appointment and asked my secretary if she could see me for five minutes. I had known Janice for eighteen years. She was thirty-six and had never married. She had dated several men through the years, one for six years, another for three years, and several others for shorter periods of time. From time to time, she had made appointments with me to discuss a particular difficulty in one of her relationships. She was by nature a disciplined, conscientious, organized, thoughtful, and caring person. It was completely out of character for her to show up at my office unannounced. I thought, There must be some terrible crisis for Janice to show up without an appointment. I told my secretary to show her in, and I fully expected to see her burst into tears and tell me some tragic story as soon as the door was closed. Instead, she virtually skipped into my office, beaming with excitement. “How are you today, Janice?” I asked. “Great!” she said. “I’ve never been better in my life. I’m getting married!”
“You are?” I said, revealing my shock. “To whom and when?”
“To David Gallespie,” she exclaimed, “in September.”
“That’s exciting. How long have you been dating?”

“Three weeks. I know it’s crazy, Dr. Chapman, after all the people I have dated and the number of times I came so close to getting married. I can’t believe it myself, but I know David is the one for me. From the first date, we both knew it. Of course, we didn’t talk about it on the first night, but one week later, he asked me to marry him. I knew he was going to ask me, and I knew I was going to say yes. I have never felt this way before, Dr. Chapman. You know about the relationships that I have had through the years and the struggles I have had. In every relationship, something was not right. I never felt at peace about marrying any of them, but I know that David is the right one.” By this time, Janice was rocking back and forth in her chair, giggling and saying, “I know it’s crazy, but I am so happy. I have never been this happy in my life.” What has happened to Janice? She has fallen in love. In her mind, David is the most wonderful man she has ever met. He is perfect in every way. He will make the ideal husband. She thinks about
him day and night. The facts that David has been married twice before, has three children, and has had three jobs in the past year are trivial to Janice. She’s happy, and she is convinced that she is going to be happy forever with David. She is in love.

 Most of us enter marriage by way of the “in love” experience. We meet someone whose physical characteristics and personality traits create enough electrical shock to trigger our “love alert” system. The bells go off, and we set in motion the process of getting to know the person. 

The first step may be sharing a hamburger or steak, depending on our budget, but our real interest is not in the food. We areon a quest to discover love. “Could this warm, tingly feeling I have inside be the ‘real’ thing?”
Sometimes we lose the tingles on the first date. We find out that she dips snuff, and the tingles run right out our toes; we want no more hamburgers with her. Other times, however, the tingles are stronger after the hamburger than before. We arrange for a few more “together” experiences, andbefore long the level of intensity has increased to the point where we find ourselves saying, “I thinkI’m falling in love.” Eventually we are convinced that it is the “real thing,” and we tell the otherperson, hoping the feeling is reciprocal. If it isn’t, things cool off a bit or we redouble our efforts to impress, and eventually win the love of, our beloved. When it is reciprocal, we start talking aboutmarriage because everyone agrees that being “in love” is the necessary foundation for a goodmarriage.Our dreams before marriage are of marital bliss…. It’s hard to believe anything else when you arein love.At its peak, the “in love” experience is euphoric. We are emotionally obsessed with each other.We go to sleep thinking of one another. When we rise that person is the first thought on our minds. We long to be together. Spending time together is like playing in the anteroom of heaven. When we holdhands, it seems as if our blood flows together. We could kiss forever if we didn’t have to go toschool or work. Embracing stimulates dreams of marriage and ecstasy.The person who is “in love” has the illusion that his beloved is perfect. His mother can see theflaws but he can’t. His mother says, “Darling, have you considered she has been under psychiatriccare for five years?” But he replies, “Oh, Mother, give me a break. She’s been out for three monthsnow.” His friends also can see the flaws but are not likely to tell him unless he asks, and chances arehe won’t because in his mind she is perfect and what others think doesn’t matter.Our dreams before marriage are of marital bliss: “We are going to make each other supremelyhappy. Other couples may argue and fight, but not us. We love each other.” Of course, we are nottotally naive. We know intellectually that we will eventually have differences. But we are certain thatwe will discuss those differences openly; one of us will always be willing to make concessions, andwe will reach agreement. It’s hard to believe anything else when you are in love.We have been led to believe that if we are really in love, it will last forever. We will alwayshave the wonderful feelings that we have at this moment. Nothing could ever come between us.Nothing will ever overcome our love for each other. We are enamored and caught up in the beautyand charm of the other’s personality.

 Our love is the most wonderful thing we have ever experienced.We observe that some married couples seem to have lost that feeling, but it will never happen to us.“Maybe they did not have the real thing,” we reason.Unfortunately, the eternality of the “in love” experience is fiction, not fact. Dr. Dorothy Tennov, apsychologist, has done long-range studies on the in-love phenomenon. After studying scores ofcouples, she concluded that the average life span of a romantic obsession is two years. If it is asecretive love affair, it may last a little longer. Eventually, however, we all descend from the cloudsand plant our feet on earth again. Our eyes are opened, and we see the warts of the other person. We recognize that some of his/her personality traits are actually irritating. Her behavior patterns areannoying. He has the capacity for hurt and anger, perhaps even harsh words and critical judgments. Those little traits that we overlooked when we were in love now become huge mountains. We
remember Mother’s words and ask ourselves, How could I have been so foolish? Welcome to the real world of marriage, where hairs are always on the sink and little white spotscover the mirror, where arguments center on which way the toilet paper comes off and whether the lidshould be up or down. It is a world where shoes do not walk to the closet and drawers do not closethemselves, where coats do not like hangers and socks go AWOL during laundry.

  In this world, a look can hurt and a word can crush. Intimate lovers can become enemies, and marriage a battlefield.

What happened to the “in love” experience? Alas, it was but an illusion by which we weretricked into signing our names on the dotted line, for better or for worse. No wonder so many havecome to curse marriage and the partner whom they once loved. After all, if we were deceived, wehave a right to be angry. Did we really have the “real” thing? I think so. The problem was..." To be continued on Monday.

Get acquainted with God today, He ys the one whose love for you is not based on your actions but based on his lovely heart towards you.

You can begin a relationship now with the lord Jesus Christ and experience His love for you by saying this prayer:
Lord Jesus Christ I acknowledge that I am a sinner, I believe in your death and resurrection. I ask you to forgive me my sins, I reject the devil and all his works and l welcome the Holy Spirit into my life. I declare today I am born again and I am a child of God in Jesus name. Amen .
If you just said that prayer I welcome you to God's family. Look for a Bible believing church where God's word is taught and fellowship there.

If you made this decision please send a mail to
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