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"13. Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. 14. Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you. 15. Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you (John 15:13-15)".

 One of the most challenging choice that we make is the choice of our friends. This choice has destroyed and built destinies. The prostitute  today was influenced by a friend yesterday. The drunkard today was taken to the bar by a friend yesterday who paid for the drinks. Friends are our apostles, they join us in fulfilling our dreams and purpose. They are an extension of our family.

How we should chose friends: 

1. Discover your Purpose: 
This has to do with the reason God created you, it is what you are to do with the life God has given you on earth. He gives you the mediums(gifts, talent, skills and potentials) through which you can fulfill purpose. You can't choose friends when you don't know what you are going to achieve with your life on earth. Discovery of purpose helps you to know your mutual interest, and goals. This will help you build the right kind of friends that suit your personality.

2. Be friendly: "A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother  (Proverb 18:24)". Show love and care for  people, communicate with people. Don't be selfish or self centered to think only of yourself and then create an unfriendly atmosphere for friendship. Think of helping others, put a smile on their face. Stop frowning, you will end up chasing friends away from you. Learn to accommodate and communicate with people, let them feel great to be around you.

3. Walk in Love: " And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet smelling savour (Ephesians 5:2)." Friendship is built on love not on lust or infatuation.  Love is concerned about caring for others , it is sacrificial and thinks of bringing the best in others, this is how Jesus showed us how much he loves us. Lust is concerned about yourself; meeting your needs at the expense of another. It brings a person low ( no respect and value for the person) and brings the worst in the person.. You need to choose friends that loves you and you love them. Your friends should love you for who you are,  they don't tolerate you but  celebrate you. Love yourself, that is the only way you can love another self.

Read also: How to win a man's heart and get Him commit to you.

4. Think of Impact:  " Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend (Proverb 27:17). In other to choose great friends, you should think of how to make positive Impact in the lives of your friends and how they will do same for you. How are you going to improve them and how will they improve you. You should think of making each other better. Friendship is about developing each other. Paul Eneche said that "who you follow, determines what follows you, your company determines what accompanies you".

5. Don't focus on attraction: The Bible says beauty is vain (Proverb 31:30). Attraction is great, but attraction without definition leads to distraction. Most people want to build friendship when they are physically attracted to the person based on beauty, body physique, social status, wealth etc. Be focused on the character make up of the person, you should know what the person stands for, their likes or dislike. The content is more important than the container, stop focusing more on the container. It is the character of the person that determines the impact and sustainability of the friendship. Does he have Integrity? Is she respectful?
" While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal (2 Corinthians 4:18)."

6. Choose friends with the fear of God: The bible says evil communication corrupts good manners (1Corithians 15:33).Friends that don't have the fear of God will want you to do things that are sinful, which will make God angry and then destroy our enviable destiny. The guy who goes about sleeping with girls that he is not married to was influenced by a friend. The person who loves God, will want you to live in the way and will of God. " The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction (Proverb 1:7)."

" Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass (Psalm 37:5)".

Most people don't consider the God factor when choosing friends , we walk by what is on our mind, forgetting that the heart of man is deceitful. We don't seek God for guidance, but when we have issues we run to God. It is through prayers we can separate friends that come as a sheep or a wolf. The Bible says the steps of the righteous are ordered by God. Allow God be your Shepherd to direct your steps as you commit your choice of friends to him. He will surely lead you to the right friends.

Friendship is a gift God has given us, but we can't have these friends from God when we don't have a personal relationship with God.

To build great friends you must be friends with Him who knows your today from your tomorrow by surrendering your heart to Him because He loves you dearly and gave His life for you. He will direct you to the right person, prevent you from heart break and destiny destroyers.

You can begin a relationship now with the lord Jesus Christ and experience His love for you by saying this prayer:

Lord Jesus Christ  I acknowledge that I am a sinner,  I believe in your death and resurrection.  I ask you forgive me my sins,  I reject the devil and all his works and l welcome the Holy Spirit into my life.  I declare today I am born again and I am a child of God in Jesus name .Amen .
If you just said that prayer I welcome you to God's family. Look for a Bible believing church where God's word is taught and fellowship there.

If you made this decision please send a mail to fulfillpurposeblog@gmail.com  

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