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"Don't forget that right believing leads to right living."


"And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God"(Romans 12:2 KJV).

There is no girl that wants to marry a man that will cause her pain and regret. Most ladies never had their Father as a model for the kind of Husband they want to marry, while some have had heart breaking experiences with men. So, this has made them generalize men based on the terrible experience with some men in their past. This is why you hear a lady say all men are cheats, abusive, liars. etc. The truth is that not all men are like the men that have caused you pain and heart break, so not all men are cheats, abusive, pretenders, liars etc.

See Also: Should I marry a man that has no money?

How not to marry the man you don't want:
Change your mindset: If you wear a dark shade, every where you see will be dark. You can't try to make every where light because the shade was made to be dark. Now, it is your perspective about life, things and people that will manifest.

What is your perspective about men?

A woman always believed that all men were cheats, so she married a gentle man who was not a cheat but became a cheat as she has envisioned in her heart. When she went to a counselor, she said to her that all men are cheats. The counselor was surprised that she was saying that, then she probed the woman further to know how long she has had such mindset about men. It was discovered that she has always believed that all men are cheats even before she was married. Now in marriage she has what she imagined.

If you have a wrong mindset and go into a relationship, you will definitely see these wrong attitudes and attributes in the person you marry.
We should renew our minds with the word of God not the word of men or the system of the world.

Renew your mind also by reading books and listening to messages on how to build a healthy relationship. The fact it did not work for your parents does not mean it will not work for you. Create the relationship you want today.
No matter what you hear or see don't allow it shape your believe system if it does not agree with God's word.
Your past relationship should not shape your future relationship, it is time to trust God and move on.
The word of God did not tell us that men are cheaters, abusive, deceptive... The bible says men are lovers and are to love their wives as Christ loves the Church ( Ephesians 5:26).
This should be your mindset to marry a man who is first in love with God and then will be in love with you. It is God that will lead you to this kind of man oh.
"Say unto them, As truly as I live, saith the LORD, as ye have spoken in mine ears, so will I do to you" (Numbers 14:28).

See Also: Marrying the perfect Person

2. Be Positive: We should be positive about relationships and the kind of person we want to marry. Don't live based on popular opinion but live based on God's opinion about a person. Even if the person has lots of character deficiency, be positive about them. Use your mouth to create the right character you want to see in them instead of using your mouth to criticize them.
Don't say he is wicked, say he is full of love and love is kind. So he is kind.
Don't say he is a beast, say he is an understanding and lovely person.
Speak what you want to see in them and you should speak according to the Word not according to his behavior.
Jesus never spoke ill of anyone while He was on earth. When Thomas one of the 12 apostles of Jesus doubted the resurrection of Jesus. Jesus was not angry at him, calling him names especially after sitting under the tutelage of Jesus Christ for over 3 years. What did Jesus do? He came to show Himself to Thomas so He can believe and Thomas actually believed. Love people instead of speaking negative about them.

3. Be in love with God: If you don't want to marry the wrong man and see those ungodly character in a man, then God can help you out. God is concerned about your relationship like in every other area of life, but he can't lead you to the right person He knows is fit for you until you build a personal love relationship with God. He led Abraham servant to a wife for Isaac.
God wants the best relationship for you.
Don't believe in the report of men but only in God's report...

You can begin a relationship now with the lord Jesus Christ by saying this prayer:

Lord Jesus Christ I acknowledge that I am a sinner, I believe in your death and resurrection. I ask you to forgive me my sins, I reject the devil and all his works and l welcome the Holy Spirit into my life. I declare today I am born again and I am a child of God in Jesus name .Amen.

If you just said that prayer I welcome you to God's family. Look for a Bible believing church where God's word is taught and fellowship there.

If you made this decision please send an email to

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